Hot Sauce’s Top 5 Worst Games That People Really Like *Trigger Warning*

[Hot Sauce 2,727]

Here’s how this shit is going to go. Most of these games aren’t bad, but I didn’t like them as much as other people. I’m going to ham it up and exaggerate, so don’t take it too seriously.

 

#5 Bloodborne

Bloodborne is to the Souls series what training wheels were to your first bike. You sucked ass at riding a bike without them and your parents got tired of you crying like a bitch. Problem is you never got past your insecurity of not being able to ride a bike without them, so you never stopped using them. You're now in your 30s riding a bike with training wheels and to justify it to your friends all you talk about is how cool the Lovecraftian elements of the training wheels are, even though you think Lovecraft was an RTS made by Blizzard you just never heard of.

Bloodborne wasn’t your first platinum because it was good, Bloodborne was your first platinum because you aren’t.

[Ike★ 2,906]

I like this

[Quad Damage 1,717]

list is dead on arrival

[Hot Sauce 2,727]

Just now, Quad Damage said:

list is dead on arrival

Should I make another thread that has less dying so you can enjoy it?

[-GD-X★ 7,729]

lmfao! this thread has potential!   i expect to see BOTW

[Quad Damage 1,717]

10 minutes ago, Hot Sauce said:

Should I make another thread that has less dying so you can enjoy it?

 

make a thread that doesnt suck

[Casual 726]

lmao. love this take on it. 

 

interested to see the top 4...got a feeling ill agree with at least 1 or 2 of them. 

[nitric 472]

I'm triggered.

[Hot Sauce 2,727]

#4 Your favourite JRPG from the last 20 years

 

A best games list might limit franchises to one entry to keep Mario and Zelda from taking up half the list, so it only makes sense for a worst games list to limit a genre to one entry to keep that genre from taking up the entirety of it. Doing it this way also allows the list to include games from the Persona and Tales series’ that I haven’t played because my parents actually loved me as a child and I respect myself as a result.

 

‘So why are JRPGs just so universally bad?’ is a question the functioning members of our society might ask themselves and the answer is simple. When a JRPG is being made there are two universal goals that inform every design decision during development:

 

1. Shitty combat - Whether the decision is made to go with sleep inducing turn-based combat or sleep inducing mashy combat, JRPG developers always make sure it’s devoid of the fun and challenge found in other genres. If development of a JRPG even hints at skill based or enjoyable combat, it immediately sheds it’s JRPG moniker and takes up some other subgenre label faster than Bloodborne fans fill a top 5 worst games thread with their tears.
2. Shitty writing – Terrible stories, horrible characters, dreadful pacing, appalling dialogue; JRPG developers just make sure every facet of their writing is the worst it could possibly be. JRPG fans will try to argue otherwise, but they do so because it’s the only way they get to spend an extended amount of time with a female and they need to trick people into buying these games so they get sequels. “Buy FF7 Remake guys, the characters are so much more fleshed out and I’m not just saying that so Gold Saucer gets remade and I can stop taking all 12 pixels of Tifa from the original game out on dates.”

 

What makes JRPGs older than 20 years different? The JRPGs of the 90s were inventive, unique, and fun, but they were still products of their time. In the late 1990s and early 2000s we saw that RPG games could be more with games and franchises like Diablo, Deus Ex, System Shock, Fallout, Planescape Torment, etc. showing that games didn’t have to have the sub-pornography level writing of JRPGs or depend on randomized encounters and static battlefields. Instead modern JRPGs remained steadfast in creating a type of game that had long since passed their appropriate age while everybody else had moved onto to more matured design. Basically, modern JRPGs are the pedophiles of the gaming world.

[Casual 726]

FF7, knew I'd agree with one of these!!

[Teh_Diplomat 2,054]

WeebsHBAnhililated. 

[Quad Damage 1,717]

4 minutes ago, Casual said:

FF7, knew I'd agree with one of these!!

 

not the last 20 years breh. baten floptos and tales of symflopia say hi tho

[Twinblade★ 3,893]

Had to edit the thread title

[Casual 726]

Just now, Quad Damage said:

 

not the last 20 years breh. baten floptos and tales of symflopia say hi tho

He said shitty combat though

[-GD-X★ 7,729]

11 minutes ago, Hot Sauce said:

#4 Your favourite JRPG from the last 20 years

 

A best games list might limit franchises to one entry to keep Mario and Zelda from taking up half the list, so it only makes sense for a worst games list to limit a genre to one entry to keep that genre from taking up the entirety of it. Doing it this way also allows the list to include games from the Persona and Tales series’ that I haven’t played because my parents actually loved me as a child and I respect myself as a result.

 

‘So why are JRPGs just so universally bad?’ is a question the functioning members of our society might ask themselves and the answer is simple. When a JRPG is being made there are two universal goals that inform every design decision during development:

 

1. Shitty combat - Whether the decision is made to go with sleep inducing turn-based combat or sleep inducing mashy combat, JRPG developers always make sure it’s devoid of the fun and challenge found in other genres. If development of a JRPG even hints at skill based or enjoyable combat, it immediately sheds it’s JRPG moniker and takes up some other subgenre label faster than Bloodborne fans fill a top 5 worst games thread with their tears.
2. Shitty writing – Terrible stories, horrible characters, dreadful pacing, appalling dialogue; JRPG developers just make sure every facet of their writing is the worst it could possibly be. JRPG fans will try to argue otherwise, but they do so because it’s the only way they get to spend an extended amount of time with a female and they need to trick people into buying these games so they get sequels. “Buy FF7 Remake guys, the characters are so much more fleshed out and I’m not just saying that so Gold Saucer gets remade and I can stop taking all 12 pixels of Tifa from the original game out on dates.”

 

What makes JRPGs older than 20 years different? The JRPGs of the 90s were inventive, unique, and fun, but they were still products of their time. In the late 1990s and early 2000s we saw that RPG games could be more with games and franchises like Diablo, Deus Ex, System Shock, Fallout, Planescape Torment, etc. showing that games didn’t have to have the sub-pornography level writing of JRPGs or depend on randomized encounters and static battlefields. Instead modern JRPGs remained steadfast in creating a type of game that had long since passed their appropriate age while everybody else had moved onto to more matured design. Basically, modern JRPGs are the pedophiles of the gaming world.

 

[Quad Damage 1,717]

2 minutes ago, Casual said:

He said shitty combat though

 

now youre thinking of wrpgs like tes & mass effect

[Delita 698]

Threadonotgood

[Goukosan 2,249]

love it 

[Alphonse★ 453]

GD dead by the second post

 

allweebsHBR

[Guest]

Hot Sauce (the poster) sucks, I hate it !