My grandmother passed away this morning. This day will forever be burned into my mind...

[Chicano3000X 77]

My family was gathered. I was next to my dad and I was holding her hand.

 She was just gasping and all we could do was kiss her and tell her we were ere for her. 
 For a moment she actually opened her eyes. 
 

 Then it looked like she was trying to gulp for air. That’s when everyone started crying. Telling her it’s ok to go. What hurt the worst, was hearing one of my uncle say “mommy”. And I could hear his voice break. That did it for me. I just started balling after that. I could hear myself go “no” when her breathing started to pause. Each pause was longer, til it just stopped. 
 

 That’s when I realized, my grandma was dead. But at the sane time I had denial. I looked at her chest to see if there was any breathing. My mind was trying to process what was going on.

 

 She was given six months. She didn’t even last two...

[Remij 4,670]

Sorry man.  I've lost all my grandparents.. and it's rough.  My moms side was the worst because both died relatively young.. and they weren't from around here so we had to travel back to my moms home where they lived.  It was so hard for my mom having to go back there.. and it's hard seeing your parents (and extended family) in that sort of pain.

 

It's really rough seeing people deteriorate right before your eyes.  I've had an uncle pass away from cancer, and the whole thing is extremely hard on everyone.  But just be thankful that you got to be beside her as she passed.  Your family was together and she was with the people that mattered most.  She's not suffering anymore.

 

Take it easy dude, and it can help to turn that sadness into energy to improve your life in other ways.  Reach out more to family, find things to do which make you happy and improve your health.

 

Again, sorry for your loss.  Be safe.

[jehurey 3,227]

Very sorry for your loss and pain.

 

You remember your grandmother, remember her the way she would want you to remember her.

 

Its important that you do.

 

They say that a person dies twice. Once when they stop breathing. And the second time when somebody says your name for the last time.

[JonB 150]

Sorry to hear man . My grandfather passed on valentines day. He was 94. 

You're lucky you all were allowed to be there.  The hospital my pap was at wouldn't let more than 2 people in the room. 

 

Losing people sucks

[-GD-X★ 7,729]

Sorry for your loss bro 

[PuNKy_LeMmInG 172]

sorry   hope she had a good life

[kaz 2,439]

I'm sorry, man.

 

one thing I learned when people speak about such a moment is that I won't say goodbye anymore, but rather something like "we'll meet again" etc.

 

I said it to my grandmother when I was a teenager and it hurt a lot. Bone cancer, she was full of opioids but looked me in the eye while I was holding her hand and I swear she held it tight when I said it.

 

my fam is not religious at all but nobody of us would ever rule out the possibility. 

[bhytre 2,753]

My condolences man, these losses are always hard to endure. 

It's  painful and you never forget, but It gets easier to deal with as time passes and life goes on

 

[Chicano3000X 77]

Thanks for the responses. I am grateful that I was there for her. I felt pretty numb once I got home that night. Like I just cried all the emotion out of me. On my way home, I thought about the last time I saw her. Before Christmas. That was the last time I saw her ok.

 After that, each time I saw her she looked progressively worse. Im at-least glad she’s no longer suffering.

 Can’t help but feel disconnected from everything though. 

[Remij 4,670]

29 minutes ago, Chicano3000X said:

Thanks for the responses. I am grateful that I was there for her. I felt pretty numb once I got home that night. Like I just cried all the emotion out of me. On my way home, I thought about the last time I saw her. Before Christmas. That was the last time I saw her ok.

 After that, each time I saw her she looked progressively worse. Im at-least glad she’s no longer suffering.

 Can’t help but feel disconnected from everything though. 

It's good that you're getting it out.  Bottling your feelings up and carrying them with you will only make things harder.  It'll get better as time goes on.

[Chicano3000X 77]

21 minutes ago, Remij said:

It's good that you're getting it out.  Bottling your feelings up and carrying them with you will only make things harder.  It'll get better as time goes on.

Thanks man. Right now Im just gonna focus on putting a video together for her service.